Shit that's on Sale for a Reason

Just doing some online snooping and had a revelation of sorts. Well not a revelation, I think I'm merely pointing out what is obvious: Sale items are fucking ugly. Case in point:


It's like Gareth Pugh for Jacqui E or some shit. And do you know it was originally priced at US$315? It's now $95 and not surprisingly it's available in every size. 

The sale area of a store-bricks and mortar or online-is always a bit of a freak show. All the pieces from a collection that just don't work get relegated to the sale area and wait to die. It's like a rest home for retarded  clothes on life support. What's sadder is those pieces that could've worked if only some minor abortion of a detail hadn't been added or if it were done in a different colour. Like the oatmeal single mother having a night out at Tabaret with the girls wrap above. Maybe if it had been done in black or navy? Even then I think you'd be clutching at straws with this top it's best to get a knitting needle and do away with it. Next item:


A checkered mall goth at a Nascar meet and greet scarf. Originally US$175! Why pay so much to look so awful? You don't have to. It's a snip at US$53. As if owning this scarf isn't bad enough, paying $53 for it would be enough to make me hang myself with it. 


I've got an idea. Let's put an exposed zipper a few centimetres across from where a zip would normally go. It's never been done before. The reason it's never been done is because it's daft. That's right, daft. How's a guy supposed to take a piss in these? I think if I were at a bar I'd just piss myself, you know, to make things even more awkward. They could be yours for US$93, reduced from US$310. 



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