Missoni Spring Summer 2012 Review

This was a poorly conceived collection. Apparently Angela Missoni was on holiday and was inspired by her kids coming home in the morning after a hard night partying and dancing. Then somehow she got it in her head that Missoni is avant garde? Are you serious? Ange, babe, no. Let’s leave avant garde to the Van Bierendoncks and the De Castelbajacs. It felt like all the design departments (that Missoni presumably have) didn’t consult each other as the designs progressed. It’s like they were all given a brief and reconvened 3 months later with a finished product (a well made product) and then put it all together. So many questions. In no particular order: Why did nobody at any stage call bullshit on this collection? Why did nobody say hmm perhaps the shoes could be simplified? Why did nobody say, actually the fringing is too much? And the ruffles. Why don’t we pull back on those a bit?

Get ur shit together Angela

Marni Spring Summer 2012 Review

Consuelo Castiglioni sent out appealingly dorky 50’s housewives for her latest spring collection. Modest tunics-a Marni staple-were back, this time done in pastels. Skirts had sheer beige underlays that contrasted well with the pastels and an eye-catching pink number was nice. There were textured floral prints, geometric leather shapes and a lattice print which really pulled together the final looks. What I like most about Marni is that it’s reliably cool. If you buy Marni (god I wish) you’re never going to be disappointed because Consuelo gently pushes each collection in new directions without freaking you out. With this collection it was the colours and textures that felt new and exciting. Look 17, a top/skirt with some side cut-outs was a standout. What’s with emerald green lookin so fresh?

Emilio Pucci Spring Summer 2012 Review

Couture-grade, fantasy wank, slut clothes. With collections like this, having an eating disorder is a prerequisite. If you want thinspo then look no further. I see the appeal of this collection as a whole but once you break down each look it’s all very 90’s boho, peasanty, Matthew Williamson. I mean really. Remove yourself from the hype and some of the clothes aren’t that great. But some of them are. Abbey Lee looked like a goth Barbie. Joan Smalls looked dressy and sexy in a tailored jacket that was cut to expose the hip. It looks infinitely better than it sounds I promise you. As well as Salvatore Ferragamo, Dundas makes a very convincing argument for fashion victims to stop wearing platform shoes. Sandals are finally looking fresh again after what, five or six years of platform domination?

Jil Sander Spring Summer 2012 Review

Humble cotton took centre stage at Raf Simon’s collection for Jil Sander. The opening looks were a study in layering and construction before Simons moved on to a paisley print in precise skirts, dresses and tops. I’m not a huge fan of paisley but the one done in pink, green, black, and purple on a white base was cool. My favourite looks were the black dress with little jewelled clips at the waist. They were kinda like miniature wings. I loved the forest green jacket that had a kind of 40’s shape with these little ties near each shoulder. The jewelled clips appeared on another dress in that same green with a powder blue hat and a sort of watermelon coloured bag. Flawless.
Some of the later looks in all white were too clinical but they skimmed by fairly quickly and made way for some knits inspired by Picasso’s ceramics (I think). The show finished with bridal-esque gowns done in white cotton. Cathy Horyn described the collection as post-modern without the irony. That’s an accurate, if not highbrow summation. Definitely a top show.

Bottega Veneta Spring Summer 2012 Review


Oh Tomas Maier. This guy. He just understands design. He produces really beautiful and sophisticated clothes. The first six models that walked weren’t white which was great. More diversity you fashion people! There was a purple dress in what appeared to be either cotton or washed silk. It had a leather placket with sporty press studs. Loving it. 
Not all of it worked. There were some questionable denim jeans and whip-stitched plastic overlays on dresses and tops. Some of the tribal interpretations were a bit meh, like the top that had little rough squares of coloured fabric hand stitched in a grid formation to the front. There were some cool caftan-like tops that looked like they’d just been poured over the models body then tucked into a pair of trousers. So overall it was tribal without the whole....

Versace Spring Summer 2012 Review

It was business as usual for Donatella Versace. The collection was on-trend and had plenty of typical Versace touches : loud prints, sexy business attire that I’m fairly certain could only be pulled off at a Versace board meeting, pastels, and super jumbo stripper-approved Lucite heels. The high-waisted pencil skirt with crop top was here and has shown up in other designers shows too which editorially would look great but in real life probably not. But Versace isn’t for real life. It’s for Hollywood, for Jennifer Lopez music videos. (I’ve been shitting on J-Lo a lot lately, what’s with that?)
 There were pastel ocean prints with studded shells and seahorses. There were also many dresses that had layered and draped pieces of silk worked into them. Some of these looks were more successful than others. Flat gold studs were used to trace out the figure in a lattice design. Sometimes this veered into overkill perhaps out of fear that without them the dresses would’ve looked boring. I think it would’ve been cool if she’d left the studs out and let people appreciate the tailoring because it’s perfect. Oh and Lindsey Wixon fell over and sprained her ankle. Not perfect.


Raf Simons Taking Over at Yves Saint Laurent?

If Raf Simons ultimately takes over the helm at Yves Saint Laurent — as those familiar with the situation in Paris suggest — the designer will have found a sweet spot for his meticulous modernism.-Suzy Menkes, journalist, gossip mongerer

Can this just not be true? Raf Simons is one of the best designers in the business right now but Stefano Pilati does wonderful things for YSL. I know Pilati doesn't grab headlines like Miuccia Prada or Marc Jacobs but his clothes do the talking. It's quiet, modern elegance.


The rumors are false. Stefano to stay at YSL

Prada Spring Summer 2012 Review

 It's a fun and light shoe but I'm not impressed
 Icecream pleated skirts. Yes
 Ugh, no. We've been here before Miuccia
No. I can't even.

What’s to say really? Just more of the same. Her last spring/summer collection was well received and deservedly so but this collection fell back into typical Miuccia. The current fall collection question asks what is sexy? And this spring collection asks what is sweet? The shoes were ugly. I’m a little bored with how she thinks she’s pushing taste boundaries and being all like what is chic and what is tacky? So she can turn around and be like it was my intention to make the shoes ugly and you're the one with the problem. Whatever bitch. A spade is an ugly Prada heel with leather flame appliqué. Jeremy Scott did the exact same thing this season as well but it works for him. With Miuccia it’s like she thinks she’s being really controversial. Ugh. She’s makin me mad.
 From a construction point of view some of these pieces won’t cost more than a few dollars to make. Like those elasticated bandeaus and skirts. It’s not rocket science. If a skirt cost $10 to make and they charge what, $600 for a skirt? You do the math (because I suck at math). I know I'm missing the point when it comes to price points etc and I've defended her before about this but you have to wonder is it inspired design or cost cutting?  And can she stop bedazzling stuff? It doesn’t add anything to the clothes. It seems like such an afterthought to try and add value or a sense of workmanship.

Mary Katrantzou Spring Summer 2012 Review

Trying to prove that she’s not a one trick print pony Mary Katrantzou pushed her craft further this season with some cool result. Just because she’s doing prints doesn’t mean that she needs to do streamlined, unobstructed shapes that show those prints to their best advantage. The opening look was strong. It was a sleeveless mini dress with a crew neck done in a painterly, abstract red, white and black print. At one side of the hem there was a trail of silk-like fabric with the same print. It was quite pretty. Then a trio of similar looks rolled out with longer trails of printed silk. The colours were bright, punchy and the silhouette was sex.
The prints were pretty amaze. I couldn’t even make out what most of them were and it annoyed me- in a good way. I saw a duck and I saw a bubble that had a man sitting on a bench in a garden. That sounds like I’m describing an acid trip.
Katrantzou took the printing further by employing different fabrics rather than just silk. There was a woven jacquard-ish looking fabric and there were knit pieces as well that from afar look like a print but up close, no, they were knits. There was also a plastic-like fabric that looked like tablecloth fabric you’d buy off the roll from Spotlight. It was good. It’s so hard to tell what she’s manipulating so to her credit she’s stepping shit up and it’s like you are fucking amazing let’s make babies. We’ll have twins and name them Freja Beha Erichsen-No-Trends- Katrantzou and Kelly Mittendorf-No-Trends-Katrantzou.

This baby looks like she had a stroke or suffers from mild aspergers.

Baby has chemo written all over her. Or is that tribal do-rag just a cover for the male pattern baldness she inherited from me? Either way the colours are so on-trend for spring 2012.

Umm, maybe I'll hold off on the baby talk. Anyway, isn't Kelly Mittendorf like 12 or something? Statutory rape is so off-trend. 

If you're not familiar with Patrice from 30 Rock then you need to pick up your face girl

Aubrey Plaza is Amazing