Me Gusta

Above: Celine. Georjizz

Oh Katie, stop

Above: Comme Des Garcons. There was even some bewb in this show! Above CDG is Viktor & Rolf. 

Above: Soft painterly Cacharel. Above Cacharel is Carven. 

Hola! (that's Spanish for hello)

Well fashion week is coming to an end and on Wednesday I'm taking off to South America for 3 weeks. I don't believe I'll be blogging in that time. I think I'll just be a bloated disgusting tourist experiencing the rich culture of Argentina, eating steak and drinking way too much wine.

Unfortunately I don't have time to riff on all the collections from Paris so far. It's been quite a week. Not an article goes by without someone mentioning Galliano or how orgasmic Haider Ackermann is. I have a feeling he may be the chosen one to helm Dior.
Christophe Decarnin has a major case of the sads and wasn't at Balmain, though you wouldn't know it by looking at the clothes. Same old pants, t-shirt, jacket combo. I actually liked it, the ikat details.

There's also been whispers that Hannah Macgibbon may be out at Chloe. Now that would not surprise me. Some people dig her quietly glamorous clothes but I find them a little too quiet. A little too vacant and neither here nor there.

Phoebe Philo makes my panties ping yet again. I know some of you guys are like fuck minimalism but I just can't help myself. The leather, the chiffon, the rough fabrics, the new doctor's bag. She's so talented and knows exactly what she wants.

 Cedric Charlier at Cacharel just gets better with each season. For fall there was plenty of layering and expert colours. I love this collection very much. Sorely underrated.

Also, Carven, amazeballs.

Waaah, I wanna stay up all night and write reviews.

So what do I think after 4 weeks of New York, London, Milan and Paris?

Christopher Kane Loves Triangles. Somebody call the hipster police

Glitter corsets were dished up with a sea of black leather and wool for Versus fall 2011. If someone told you they wanted the boning in their corset to be coated in glitter you'd probably ask where they buy their crack and make a mental note to hide the hot glue gun and macaroni elbows.
But Christopher Kane (and sibling partner in fashion crime Tammy Kane) is one of those designers that you have to trust because he knows how to handle some janky fabrics. Take a look at his own line for fall and you'll see crochet blanket inspired skirts and plastic trimmed dresses filled with sparkly liquid. On paper his work is highly questionable but once you see it you die.
The collection also featured a glitter triangle print so it's hipster approved because hipsters fucking love triangles.

Prada's Sex Reduction

For fall Miuccia Prada used fabrics and colours that would more often than not be seen in a gentleman's club (or a Roberto Cavalli collection) and presented them in such a way as to stunt their effect and drain any notion of raw sexuality.
So think of those stripper cliches like python, sequins, red, pink etc. The collection was most definitely unsexy but in a good way. The coats with their giant lapels and low slung belts were a highlight as were the grid-like patterns on a trio of dresses.
Miuccia Prada is the last person I would imagine wearing sexy clothes like python jackets or a tight sequined dress so maybe she's taking all these sexy clothes that she secretly wishes she could wear and warping them beyond recognition to satisfy her inner sexual beast. Miuccia you dirty bitch!

Ima bad bitch Ima, Ima bad bitch

Art Freaks Unite!

It was a restrained outing for Consuelo Castiglioni’s Marni. All the trademarks were there but they were less dorky and awkward. The Marni girl is still an art freak weirdo that we all want to be friends with but this time around she’s acting her age a little more.

The prints were as always mindblowingly original. The navy and putty coloured print was my favourite. The jackets felt new with their stiff roughly hewn edges that created an ill-fitting shell. In real life they may not work but editorially they’ll rule. Castiglioni has such an eye for colour and proportion. Whether it be a slouchy leather glove or a thigh-skimming top she nails it every time. She is always a Milan highlight.

"People like you ought to be dead, your mothers, your forefathers would all be fucking gassed"- John Galliano

There’s been a fuck load of articles about Galliano over the past week and I’ve been reading a lot of the reader coments because sometimes they’re more interesting or insightful than the article itself. Such comments as ‘I’m disgusted and will never buy Dior ever again’ I find hysterically funny because bitch please, you can’t even afford Dior, let alone have an appreciation of the brand.

I feel like we do what the media will us to do which is lash out, become totally incensed, indignant and most importantly be completely outraged. The media is on steroids these days and we love it. And now there’s expectations the media have put in place. If you do something wrong then you have to lose your job, be publicly vilified, all sponsorship deals pulled, a public apology (preferably a press conference), a stint in rehab, then one year later a Diane Sawyer-esque interview. It keeps the circus going and cash flowing.
And also what shits me is if there’s any semblance of pity or an attempt to understand why Galliano has said such hateful words then you’re branded a nazi loving Hitler freak. John Galliano is an anti-semitic alcoholic. That video was what, less than 30 seconds? And if you’ve ever met an alcoholic then you recognise it straight away in JG. But it doesn’t excuse his words. Nothing will.

We’ve all met that drunk person. Just think about it when you’re at a bar or a house party and there’s some guy or girl sitting by themself with a glass (or bottle) in hand, head slumped down, fumbling to light a cigarette and occasionally throughout the night you hear them rambling until they finally get your attention and say something that makes no sense at all or in Galliano’s case is deeply offensive. I’ve met that drunk and they are never the life of the party.

Dior have rightly fired him. Some people are shocked that they didn’t stand behind him but once that video was released the truth was there. You can’t defend that behaviour and have a man like that representing your company because from a business perspective you’re fucked and c’mon, why you gotta hate on Jews gurl? There’s no need to hate people because of their race or religion, sexual preference or whatever. It’s such a waste of time because you’re lying to yourself, convincing yourself that you’re different from others and you’re not. We’re all the same inside. I’m trying not to get on my high horse because I’m fucking so far from perfect that, oh jeez, I don’t know, all the erasers in the world couldn’t rub out the mistakes I’ve made (worst analogy EVA. Permission granted to unfollow me immediately) but little things always remind me that we’re all human and we’re all the same. We all need to eat, sleep, we all need our friends, we all want to be happy. It doesn’t matter if you’re transgendered, Sri Lankan or Jewish because we’re all human (except for Donatella Versace and Karl Lagerfeld. I firmly believe they are aliens from planet Fabulous) (ps how hot would a transgendered Sri Lankan Jew be?).

Okay so I may have gone a little Oprah on you guys there and I’ve lost my train of thought. Right. Galliano. Unemployed Jew hater. Yeah, he needs rehab. And not some 6 week Lohan approved media version. He needs to go away and sort his shit out because he’s a mess. I firmly believe he is an alcoholic. I could be completely wrong but it explains why he is such a recluse. The media know nothing of his private life. Does he have a boyfriend? Why is he never at any fashion parties? Actually, that video explains why he never goes to any parties.

Now he’s going to stand trial in French court and he’s just issued an apology through his lawyer. It’s weird because he denies making anti-semitic remarks yet apologises for his behaviour. No one is going to forgive him if he denies any wrong-doing. From a fashion perspective it’s a terrible way to end a career-any career for that matter. If you were asked to try and predict Galliano’s future prior to any of this happening then you might have said something like well, he’ll continue designing for Dior until he’s 60, have a huge retrospective that travels the world celebrating all that he brought to the fashion industry, a giant coffee table book and then he moves to Boca and has a love affair with a Mexican pool guy and lives fashionably ever after. Dior has been moulded by Galliano’s imagination and style since what, 1996? It’s now 2011, how will a new designer fare bulldozing that Galliano woman and forging a new image?

Possibilities for the job? Haider Ackermann (he’s got the Lagerfeld seal of approval), Olivier Theyskens (romantic ideals would suit the Dior brand but he’s notorious for having expensive taste however he’s proving himself at Theory) or Betsey Johnson (lol kidding. But srsly u guiz!)

Impossibilities for the job: Alber Elbaz (he loves Lanvin and I think he’s holding out for Chanel), Marc Jacobs (his fingers are already in way too many pies), Hedi Slimane (monochromatic menswear designer. 10 years ago!), Christian Lacroix (never turned a profit in all his years though his clothes are delicious) and Jean Paul Gaultier (witty designer, outrageous personality but I don’t think his clothes garner enough attention or sales).

If Galliano ever returns to fashion it will either be our tolerance for racism or our ability to forgive that allows him to do so.

The video...

And here's just a few totes amazeball Jews...real and fictional.

Natalie Portman. She's Jewish AND the swan queen

Dan Rad. Jew! Amazing

Gretchen Wieners. So fetch.