Death Star Demeulemeester

Irl a scary lesbian art critic would wear these clothes but in my own world I get to wear them and look awesome.

Not a clue what the inspiration was but it didn’t matter. Why? Did you see those boots? Those boooooots mindsploded me the second I saw them. Sweet almond toed delicious deliciousness.

My mind as a house sploding. Pretty fuckin deep right?

At times the tops got too busy with piping, top-stitching and fastenings flailing about but they balanced out with the raggedy leather side-mullet dresses. Yes you read right. SIDE. MULLET.

If you’re a regular reader you’ll know that I’ve covered the mullet dress before but a sidey? EPIC. This shouldn’t work. Only on distant planets, far, far away should this work. If Darth Vader was a woman with exceptional taste in clothes she’d wear this.

It Takes Deux Baby

This was classic Comme. It was punk, deconstructed, reconstructed, abstract and loads of black and white. It felt quite 80’s too.

Some of the opening looks were white double-breasted coats that sprouted extra arms in what appeared to be black leather or perhaps rubber. There were also pieces of black fabric roughly stitched onto the fronts of some coats resembling a colour field.

I could be wrong (most probably am) but I felt like Rei Kawakubo was questioning female sexuality through quite traditional items of clothing like a bra, a waist defining belt, a full, pleated skirt. The bras were oversized, making them redundant as if to say why bother? I’m still a woman.
It also felt like a response and a dig to this seasons womanly, full-figured look by the likes of Louis Vuitton and Prada.

The duality theme I haven’t quite grasped. With the sprouting sleeves, the twin models, that I’m not sure of. If you have any thoughts then add a comment below so I can promptly shoot you down.

Jil Sander: What In Art Therapy Hell Is This?!

You know how lots of designers are all I just love putting opposites together you know? Like blah I’m so conceptual, hard and soft, light and heavy. Well, Raf Simons actually pulled it off. which I find weird because it was obvious that that’s what he was getting at but it wasn’t a big deal. In this case it was high versus low fashion. Rich versus poor. If you had told me this without showing me the collection I would’ve rolled my eyes in the manner of bitch please

There was casual-plain t-shirt and plastic shopping bag-and then there was formal- couture gown shapes and matronly leather handbags.
At first it looked high concept but bust that shit down and it’s totally wearable. T-shirts, crisp white boxy trousers, a chopped up cut n paste floral print, giant vertical and horizontal stripes.
The only thing I didn’t like was the weird ship signal flag vibes Pierre Cardin painting smock in yellow. What the fudge is that? Maybe it’s some weird psychological colour thing. Maybe I hate it because it’s worn by Hanne Gaby Odiele who has a Grimms fairytale sized forehead like me and it just reminds me of myself. (note: Just Googled Hanne to check spelling of name, decided to read Wikipedia profile and she was hit by a car in NY in 2006. She broke BOTH her legs! I feel bad now.*)

Overall this is one of the highlights of spring and made Milan a powerhouse this season. Go Milan. Go Raf. Go 10-head Hanne.

*No I don’t. I just found out she lives in Chinatown and drives a vintage 1970’s Mercedes Benz. TOTES JELLY

We're practically sisters

YSL? Chloe? They're Like Practically The Same Anyway

The Love, Chloe fragrance campaign apparently features a YSL belt which is a big no no. It's a Chloe campaign so everything should be by Chloe.

The stylist was Joe McKenna who's been styling since the 80's for The Face (oh sweet Jesus RIP) and every top brand and mag you can name so it's not like some young silly fashion ditz stylist got the job and royally eff'd up their career. He won't be sent to fashion purgatory styling for Millers.

If anything, this is an indication of how boring fashion is right now that this small misstep should become news. Will he be hiring Gloria Allred to defend him in court? Will he have to issue a sincere apology to all the fans he let down?

Seriously, it's a fucking belt and both Chloe and YSL get a dickload of free publicity so I tip my hat to Joe McKenna.

Oh and check out the ad directed by Roman Coppola. Hilarious.

Alber-Don't Fucking Call Me Albert-Elbaz Does It Again

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Look at the draping on this dress. Mind sploded
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You got a little something on your top
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Crunchy pleats
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Look at those colours!!!!
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Sexy but not clingy
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Striking column, adds to the minimalism story for spring
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How can I make something sexy but not clingy? I think Alber Elbaz asks himself this question with each Lanvin collection and for Spring he used fabric pleats and folds to address the question. If you look at Elbaz’ collections you’ll see that he always tries his best to make flattering clothes that have movement and ease. He’s sort of the opposite of Versace.

The show opened with gorgeous one-shouldered tops with light, flowy skirts in olive and mousse green, yes I said mousse, I’m really bad at describing colours. There were caramel toned leather harnesses-something that seems more McQueen than Lanvin- but they were weirdly inviting. The dresses in corrugated fabrics of charcoal and olive green could potentially function like seersucker, allowing airflow to trap under the bumps of fabric, cooling the skin. There were ingeniously draped sheer dresses in rust and green and I really mean ingenious, especially the one worn by Iris Strubegger. Lime,eggplant and strawberry micropleat dresses were giving me Pleats Please vibes but duh, of course they would.

There were some zippered dresses too that looked all slice n dice Japanese avant garde. It wasn’t until I watched the video of the show that I realized why he’d done this. The movement! Ugh, you should see the way these dresses move, it’s beautiful. I’ll post a video but only if you promise to take a look.

Overall this collection is really impressive and ever thoughtful however some of the dresses towards the end were overly embellished and seemed out of step with the refreshingly simple columns and felt like they belonged in a different collection.

I Can't Believe It's Not Denim

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Skirt length: V, V important
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This was a really strong collection for Stella McCartney and she had some of the best tailoring of all the collections I’ve seen for Spring.
Those citrus fruit prints are so fucking outrageously cool. They’re like that lickable wallpaper from Charlie and the chocolate factory.
And those denim tops? They’re not really denim y’all. They’re like a knit or some shit, isn’t that awesome? I love Stella McCartney. I want to have her babies. LOL JK. She has like 4 kids. I hate kids.

I Am The Celine Woman (true story)

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Weird hotel lobby carpet printed outfit where have you been all my life?!
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This looks inspired by Karategi (Karate uniform)
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Love this top in Japanese denim
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There's something ill-fitting about this look but it feels so right. Right?
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Raw edges on the tunic. What is the scarf attached to? Herp derp I just realised it's around her neck 
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Look at that subtle little tab on that...what the hell is that beigy flappy thing? I want one

Phoebe Philo described her inspiration as “the kind of woman that doesn’t care what she looks like when she’s dancing. “

That’s me! When I’m wasted at a bar I could give a fuck what anyone thinks of me when I’m dancing. Does this mean I’m the Celine woman? That’s fucking scary if I am.

For spring Philo continued with the same warm minimalism as she has been doing since starting out at Celine. There were boxy tunics with that wide cut sleeve I’ve been seeing on other runways such as Prada. There was an artisanal quality with the hand-woven fabrics and the Japanese denim which Philo described as quite unruly.
What I find most appealing about Celine is that the clothes are minimalist but still have a feminine quality to them. This is something completely lacking at Calvin Klein and to a certain extent Jil Sander. At Klein and Sander you still see beautiful clothes but they’re less accessible and often very cold.
You know, a lot of designers talk about their ideal woman as strong, independant, blah blah. They all say the same crap (have you heard John Galliano talk about the Dior woman? Jesus Christ!) but I think everything rings true with Celine. There’s no doubt in the pieces and you just want to grab them off the rack, put them on and forget about them because you look so chic.

Not Fetch

Pleasant and Uninspiring at Chloe

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This is Hannah MacGibbon’s fifth collection for Chloe and I feel like with each collection she says less and less. It’s almost like she’s holding back and repressing the Chloe girl who I believe to be young, sexy and sometimes a bit cheeky. We saw this girl with Stella McCartney and with Phoebe Philo but I’m not seeing enough with MacGibbon.
I get that this is minimalism but the clothes look like they belong in a pre-collection and they’re so pared back that they don’t feel special. You also need to take into consideration that these clothes aren’t cheap either. A Chloe silk blouse can cost US/AU$800 and there’s nothing special about those price points.
Right now the Chloe girl is that girl at a party who intrigues you all night but once you finally have a chat you realise just how dull she is.
Ps, what is with those angry looking ballet flats? They look painful.

Givenchy Spring Summer 2011

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Layers, layers, layers. I love it

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This is a nice continuation from the last couture collection

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Hey daddy bear

I don’t feel this was his best work but it was still a beautifully gothic spring collection.
I think the collection could’ve done without the gay bondage touches, the press studs and the sports mesh. It looked outdated and felt more like a reflection of his taste in men rather than fashion.
The zippers were a nice touch and a continuation of what was shown for the couture show but it became tedious after the first ten looks and I also promised myself to put any designer on my strike list who did exposed zippers for Spring. I love how he used the zips to reposition the waist, dropping it ever so slightly making a languid silhouette.
The layering was also beautifully done, particularly on the opening look.